Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dear Teacher,

Flippancy with teachers is never appropriate, however, there are a few things I would like to make clear with you.

1. I am not taking your course because my parents will let me live at home for free so long as I am enrolled in school.
2. I am not taking your course so I can someday make effective missiles because "that's the practical application of physics".
3. I am not taking your course so you can humiliate me in front of my peers when I confuse acceleration due to gravity with that which is related to the sum of the forces.
4. I am not taking your course so I can get practice neatly hand drawing remedial graphs because "someday when I gain experience in the real world someone will ask me to produce something and if it's not neat I won't get promoted".
5. I am not taking your course so you can belittle me by publicly making a point of how you are more knowledgeable than I.
6. I am not taking your course because I like that red flannel shirt you wear everyday. 
7. I am definitely not taking your course so you can patronize me about how I should consider myself a "real student" even though "I'm only at junior college".



Julie said...

Isn't it interesting to be at a junior college now? If the teacher only knew your background. I am taking some classes at Bellevue CC right now, but luckily I have great teachers!

Anonymous said...

Dear Student,

1. Yes you are, come on admit it. You couldn't possibly be interested in Physics, you're a girl!
2. The only reason to study anything is to figure out how to kill it.
3. I humiliate you because you make me feel weak in the knees. From the first moment I saw you I was disarmed. I want nothing more than to hold you, be near you, make love to you, but no one can ever know this, so I must overcompensate by lambasting you.
4.I make you draw these graphs so I can submit them to blondegraph magazine's amateur graph hunt. Your last one was a nine on the spank-o-meter.
5. Once again, I must belittle you, so they won't know. Also someone once told me that the way to get laid is to treat'em like shit. What do you think? Admit it, you can't stop thinking about me.
6. Why don't you come over and rip it off me little girl?
7. But that's what my Mom told me all through my 3 and a half years at Long Beach State...