Sunday, January 1, 2012

Buon Anno

This is the second new year I've celebrated in Italy. Last year Giulio and I went to a house party followed by a discoteca where I ingenuously spent the evening wishing everyone "a happy new anus" (see "buon ano nuovo"). This year, Giulio and I spent the new year here: 

BUT, being the sad, old-souled bastards we are, we opted to spend the evening at home, actively avoiding the crowds, and accompanied by none other than our effervescent French friend:

oh yea, AND these:

Kinder is the shit-tastic chocolate readily located at the front of every grocery store, next to the cassa. For the holiday season, Kinder gets all kinds of festive by featuring their hollow-holiday-egg-enclosed "SORPRESA".


Being the greedy and impatient bitch I am, I opened mine first by brutishly smashing it against the table.

(at this point, I was still vaguely excited and curious)

though, it didn't take long to understand that this was not in fact the new Lego set I had hoped for, but a piece of red and green plastic TRASH accompanying a merda of a mural that was apparently best appreciated when observed through the rose colored lens. How appropriately figurative.

unfortunately all that appeared was this disappointing, G-rated cartoon of two- dimensional sea life.  

 Giulio's turn (at delicacy).

 his surprise immediately resembled pulled-pork to me, which naturally spun me into a jealous rage. 

alas, he  and I both had to face disappointment again by the anticlimax that was this dysfunctional turd of inedible entertainment. In its defense, at least it was a little festive.

We rang in the new year with our ears stuffed with cotton and the cabin shutters tightly sealed, though it was not a perfect ploy against the drunks or uncivilized children and their sparklers of peril. But we survived, and we sincerely hope you did too. 

Wishing you the best for 2012,

1 comment:

Elyse said...

buon ano nuovo!

ps. that camel looks like it is made of saggy balls.