Say Nogan to Hogan

I don't claim to be an expert on anything, let alone fashion. 

That said, via my casually collected observations whilst living in the "fashion capital of the world", I can safely certify that Milan showcases more pedestrians falling victim to clothing-related misfortunes than any other city I've ever lived (and this includes Seattle, a conurbation that excretes more fleece than it does coffee). 

The problem with fashion faux-pas Milanese style, is the willing submission to over-priced name brands that completely lack an aesthetic dimension- solely for the sake of the name brand. Take for instance, these little gems:

Indeed these orthopedic-esque disasters (known (unaffectionately according to me) as Hogan) retail for $400. FOUR-HUND-RED-DOL-LARS. I don't understand. I would pay to not have to wear them. For ten euro, any pleb could blitz a walmart/lidl, pick out a pair of high tops from the clearance rack, recover her bedazzler, and affix a few crystal gems to the side for a fraction of the price. And as if these obviously-ugly-but-well-known-for-being-pricey footpieces weren't criminal enough, they are almost always accompanied by either scruffy pants or a scruffy top, and a designer handbag dripping in designer print- 99% of the time Louis Vuitton, 1% Fendi, never a Prada.To highlight the pervasiveness of the issue, I'd like to explain that the following photographic evidence was taken over the course of only 24 hours, and that for every photo successfully captured, I bared witness to five times the actual assault crime.

So if you're one who succumbs, you can buy them here; if you're craving for more street suicide, you can see more here.