Monday, August 20, 2012

The DIY Cappuccino

I am not addicted to coffee, but I do drink a cappuccino every morning. I could also quit if I wanted. Actually, I am 100% certain that coffee makes me absolutely tired. But I love the taste. The texture. The smell. The ritual.  And in Italy, the cappuccino is liquid gold. Sweet, unadorned. buttery, not burned. creamy, never frothy. It's simple and it's perfect. And there is ONLY ONE SIZE. Small.

There is a law in Italy that caps the price of coffee at one euro, so long as a patron enjoys it at the bar. Coffee shops (locally referred to as bars) buzz in the mornings, and the sound of clinking ceramic cups has ignited a new reason for classical conditioning and nostalgia in me.


While some bars do accommodate a sit-down breakfast, the people you find speaking far too loudly whilst decadently seated spread-eagled in their chairs (especially in overly beautiful piazzas) are typically tourists. Poor, poor tourists who have no idea that they are about to be charged eight euros for an espresso. (true story). The one-euro law is abrogated the moment you sit you're greedy little ass down at the table.




Once in a while if I'm feeling a little self indulgent (ALWAYS), I'll have a marrocchino after lunch (or whenever I feel like it). The marrocchino is similar to the macchiato, only  much more flamboyant.



or THIS!

So anyway, Yarden -my professional friend, study buddy, gym partner, roommate, and hair braider- privy to my predilection for full-fat foamed milk, bought me this:


TA-DA! It is what you think. A hand-held, battery operated, spinning, buzzing, vibrating -MILK FOAMER- . Boy do I love Yarden. And this. In fact, it became such a sensation to me that I decided to share in its delight with the rest of the world by documenting its uber functionality herein.

milk straight from the teet tastes best


It is worth mentioning that my handheld milk foamer has been foaming milk beautifully since the moment it landed in my mug. And it spins very fast.


But when I turned it on this time, it looked SAD. a bit ill, a little wonky.



Desperate for my homemade, lessthanoneeuroseatedcappuccino AND a successful documentary, I proceeded to use it anyway. But what resulted was bona fide disappointment:


YUCK. a disgusting, watery, frothy, diluted "cappuccino". Terribile, as they say, and anticlimactic as ever.


Which brings me back to my usual one-euro, always standing, ceramic-clinking,
thick

ass

foam.