My Latest Obsession

I've finally sorted out my Nikon D60- it had a broken piece of plastic attaching the lens to the body which cost me $62.00 to fix- two dollars in parts and sixty in labor (and like, thirty in gas money because the shop was in an insanely rural part of town). When I finally unraveled it from its protective bubble wrap, I realized that the eyepiece had gone blurry; I tried with all my might to fix it using only my intrinsic skills, but eventually surrendered and read the manual which is something I fundamentally hate. Anyway, after a simple shift of the diopter, everything has been resolved and I can now resume iPhone-free image sharing. And so, I present you my flavor of the week: POCKET COFFEE.

Giving Thanks

Yesterday we learned about this thing called nephroptosis which causes the kidney to sag in the body due to a disappearance of visceral fat. It can be caused by diseases like pregnancy and anorexia. This year I'm thankful for having neither of the two and for generally being hefty enough to maintain my organs at their proper height.


Liv: 1
Gravity: 0

Last night I went out for a somewhat shitty "gourmet" thanksgiving meal with an assortment (culturally speaking) of folks (figuratively speaking) from my university. The food was overpriced and overly aesthetic-centered. I wanted me some straight up ugly Betty Crocker shit- stuffing, gravy, turkey and mashed sweet potatoes with those heinous little marshmallow thingies on top. Instead, Giulio and I walked away with an 85 euro bill and an uncomfortably high sobriety level. On this note, I am also unthankful for the fact that we didn't receive these two days off from lessons- my mind just can't reconcile why the school recognizes Jewish holidays (for instance) but not America's obesity-centered holidays. According to me, all represented cultures should, in fact, be represented in an International MD program. But whatever, I protested by skipping classes today anyway. Actually, I'm not so much indulging my activism as I am simply nauseated. Plus, I'm playing catch-up. I've got an exam every week until Christmas and my weekday binge drinking is forcing me into a somber detox-demanding mood.  


I'm searching for a hobby outside of drinking and studying. Life as a med student is manic and it's essential to indulge in outside activities to keep oneself sane. balanced. mentally charged, (meanwhile periodically decompressed). Me. Well, I'm still trying to access that. I don't have my piano or guitar. but I do download The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on iTunes which really helps keep things light. Sometimes Giulio and I play chess too, but it took me about 30 games to finally beat him and I've refused to play since experiencing that sweet taste of victory. I suppose I have also been feeling the runners itch lately, but I'm not sure whether this is a matter of hygiene or in fact my curiosity to know whether I could outruna Triceratops should the occasion every arise. The Milan marathon is in April; I've been flirting with the idea, but my knee still hurts from that one year I ran four marathons with a training regimen that consisted of driving my car to work.


i digress.


My big news and big thanks is that based on my previous coursework, I was able to skip the first year of medical school. This is really huge because it saved my sugar-mother on the order of like, $25,000 and more importantly, put me one year closer to an early retirement. I freak out a little each day that I spend a shamefully hedonistic amount of time fantasizing about going skiing, wearing ugly sweaters, and drinking eggnog. I also think a lot about how I would really love to be a writer or a teacher. This past year I've noticed an immense shift in my attitude toward "success"- either my priorities are changing, or my definition of success is changing (see- becoming a professional eggnog drinker). It's strange. I don't care so much about perfect grades. I care more about things like gardening. I miss my family and my dearest friends. No, I actually crave them. I wonder sometimes if I'm really cut out for this med student business. Sometimes I sense myself as a phony. But at this point, I'm going to keep faking it until I make it. 

my biggest thanks to you, who i love
(dreaming of ugly sweaters and eggnog...)

The Smoking Goat

After a five-month hiatus from work and school and generally all things intellectual, I have finally matriculated into medical school. I had a mini panic attack the first week when I realized 1.) that I didn’t even know what year it was, and 2.) that I had forgotten how to write with a pen; but by week three I had sufficiently brushed the cobwebs off my synapses and by week four was already contemplating that I could be verging burnout.  Although I haven't yet found medical school too insulting to my inaccurate self-perceptions of being super smart, the amount of information needed to be learned IS dense and immense. Anyway, while I am at most times remarkably good at complaining, on this occasion I really can’t say much but good things about my colleagues, professors, and program as a whole. It's been a while that I liked so many people in one place, and while I won’t traverse so far as to say that I’m happy, I am presently abstaining from prescription anti-depressants.

Instead of complaining, I decided to relay five randomly-chosen observations taken from the past month.

1. Tardiness: Ok, basically, there like, isn't such a thing. If my lesson for instance, is slotted to commence at 9am, I have learned that this actually means any time after 9:15. There is even an official “academic grace period” whose decree it is to officialize that fifteen minutes late isn’t actually late.  This fact also applies to the coffee breaks we predictably receive every 45-50 minutes- a "five" minute break is on the order of ten to fifteen minutes, while a "ten" minute break on the order of 15-35, and so on. Admittedly, my learning benefits tremendously from these brief pauses in information upload.

2. Burn & Sediment: During aforementioned breaks, one typically frequents an on-campus café for a barista-made potation, OR indulges in the (very delicious/awesome/fantastic) cappuccino vending machine. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I am absolutely fucking fascinated by this thing.  Even after one month of indulging twice daily in said technological miracle, I still find myself crouched down to the ground, attempting to peer into the machine's insides as if I were a pervert underneath the bleachers at a high school football game. Anyway, #16 is my favorite- cappuccino con cacao. 

3. Lunch Breaks: Ok this is crazy but, PEOPLE ACTUALLY TAKE THEM! And if somebody notices you working through your lunch break while mindlessly munching your panini, well, my friend, I'm sorry to say that you have just committed social suicide.  

4. Physical Well Being: Health professionals (easily spotted by their white coats and rubber shoes) shamelessly stand outside the hospital inhaling their cancer sticks and exhaling the smoke into the atmosphere of the very patients they just advised to quit. oops.

5. Emotional Well Being: According to a rumor I heard, the on-campus ZOO was installed as a way to catalyze tranquility for (non-smoking?) patients. There are monkeys, goats, parrots, lambs and copious other creatures that call the concrete jungle immediately outside my classroom, "home".  They screech and sing most of the day, everyday. Sometimes they are so loud that when I play back my recorded notes, the only thing audible is the animal (as was the reason the lecture was unintelligible in the first place.)

But anyway, this is medical school in Italy, and I love it.