Fettuccine with Prosciutto and Asparagus

What you need:

a few cups of asparagus, stems removed and cut into thirds

one onion chopped

one small head of garlic, minced

prosciutto, chopped

olive oil

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

fettuccine 

chile pepper

black pepper

salt

parmesan

grown in the backyard and naturally organic

What to do with it

While pasta is cooking (in salted water), heat the olive oil in a large pan and add onions and garlic. When the pasta is halfway cooked, throw the asparagus into the pot. 

Cook for two minutes, then add prosciutto and cook for two more minutes. Turn off heat. 

Add balsamic vinegar, red pepper, black pepper, and 1/2 cup pasta water to the pan. Drain the aldente pasta/asparagus and add to pan. Sprinkle with a generous dose of fresh parmesan and enjoy!

ha finito!

Country Playin'

and this, this is how we play.

music by Soggy Bottom Boys

when life hands you a gun...

... make lemonade.

(you've only got one shot)

Homemade Passport Photos

The countryside is great for all things homemade, up to and including passport photos.

neutral face, white background, no shadows

Rigatoni with Olives & Anchovies

Per the request of a friend, I present you (Giulio's) rigatoni with black olives and anchovies. This is my favorite Italian dish to date.

What you need to serve two VERY greedy people

one onion or a few shallots; chopped

a few cloves of garlic; whole, minced, or a combination of the two

fresh tomatoes (see below); chopped, or one can.

10-15 black olives; pitted OR pre-sliced (prettier but not as delicious)

8 anchovies; rinsed and sliced in half

1/4 cup cream or 1/2 cup whole milk 

olive oil; enough to bathe in

salt, pepper, and parmesan to taste

pasta; preferably rigatoni or penne

What to Do

While the salted water is boiling, cook the onions and garlic on medium heat for a few minutes. Add the pasta to the water. Add the anchovies and swim them around in the hot oil for a few minutes, then add tomatoes. Continue stirring for a few more minutes then add olives and 1/2 cup of pasta water. Continuing with your tenacious stirring, add milk one minute before the pasta is drained (al dente, people). Add pasta to pan and cook for an additional minute. Add salt and pepper to taste, then garnish with parmesan. 

keep the heat on medium

add this many tomatoes from the garden

or a can if you don't have enough, cheater

de-pit and chop yourself for better flavor

cook for several minutes before adding milk

immediately after draining, add pasta

season with salt and pepper and parmesan

Country Livin'

I grew up in a suburban area of California known as Scripps Ranch. Scripps, as we Scrippies call it for short, has an audaciously misleading maxim written in pretentious and cursive script under the town's welcome sign- Country Living. Ok. Lets get real for a minute. Everyone who inhabits these parts should know perfectly well that the only thing country about it are the "bird cages" situated within the complexes of the local business parks, where peacocks have supposedly been stored by rebel farmers for decades. And the reality is, that said cages are much better known for being the secret locale for awkward, pimply, bored, upper-middle class teenagers to smoke pot without their parents' belligerent disapproval. 

I believe that the things/places/people truly adherent to their respective mission statements need not literally spell out their mottos in bolded, cursive, or neon letters. I will never buy a vehicle from "Honest Joes Used Cars" just the same as I will never consider a person self-described as "smart" any intelligent. While Scripps Ranch may have originally been designated a getaway for a minority of city dwellers, it is now a mass of concrete, cookie-cutter slabs of stucco, crafted one on top of the other to form a relaxing escape for more than 32,000 people. This country lifestyle also boasts enormous chain grocery stores, nail salons, gas stations, fast food joints, and in general, the same conveniences of a city, but under the misrepresentation of a private country retreat.

The juxtaposition to my current residence was made particularly stark today as I went foraging in the backyard/Italian countryside for my lunch. This is real country living- identified not by the sign claiming to be so, but by the inescapable smell of cow dung, the itch in my eyes, and the fact that like, maybe ten people live within five miles of here. Oh yes, and the FLIES! The flies that fly slower than the Italian Postal Service- definitely indolent enough to catch in one's hand, providing a country boy the proud yet false impression that he is in fact agile. 

So, this is what I spent my afternoon doing while Giulio was inside studying the legality of abortions. I guess he's one step closer to becoming a doctor and I'm one step closer to riding a bull and lassoing in the  sunset. 

ain't no country living in this metropolis

must lose lbs. to enter garden

welcome to the ivy league, peacocks

empty basket full of hope and promise

backyard foliage

discovery numero uno- an unripened pear & mini alligator

peach fuzz unlike my rabid mustache

apricot acting like an ass

conventional crowd predictably ostracizing the weird ugly

the savaged one is always most compelling

zucchini feigning apricot

expansion

imminent preeminent walnut

romaine

(assaulted by nature in exchange for this photo)

mini eggplant makes me want to explode with babies

digression

almost ready for the ball

plum, the only one

randomly placed & most insanely massive non GMO zucchini EVER

tipping the scale

magnolias on the way in

the end. now show me your fruit basket.