My Latest Obsession

I've finally sorted out my Nikon D60- it had a broken piece of plastic attaching the lens to the body which cost me $62.00 to fix- two dollars in parts and sixty in labor (and like, thirty in gas money because the shop was in an insanely rural part of town). When I finally unraveled it from its protective bubble wrap, I realized that the eyepiece had gone blurry; I tried with all my might to fix it using only my intrinsic skills, but eventually surrendered and read the manual which is something I fundamentally hate. Anyway, after a simple shift of the diopter, everything has been resolved and I can now resume iPhone-free image sharing. And so, I present you my flavor of the week: POCKET COFFEE.

Giving Thanks

Yesterday we learned about this thing called nephroptosis which causes the kidney to sag in the body due to a disappearance of visceral fat. It can be caused by diseases like pregnancy and anorexia. This year I'm thankful for having neither of the two and for generally being hefty enough to maintain my organs at their proper height.


Liv: 1
Gravity: 0

Last night I went out for a somewhat shitty "gourmet" thanksgiving meal with an assortment (culturally speaking) of folks (figuratively speaking) from my university. The food was overpriced and overly aesthetic-centered. I wanted me some straight up ugly Betty Crocker shit- stuffing, gravy, turkey and mashed sweet potatoes with those heinous little marshmallow thingies on top. Instead, Giulio and I walked away with an 85 euro bill and an uncomfortably high sobriety level. On this note, I am also unthankful for the fact that we didn't receive these two days off from lessons- my mind just can't reconcile why the school recognizes Jewish holidays (for instance) but not America's obesity-centered holidays. According to me, all represented cultures should, in fact, be represented in an International MD program. But whatever, I protested by skipping classes today anyway. Actually, I'm not so much indulging my activism as I am simply nauseated. Plus, I'm playing catch-up. I've got an exam every week until Christmas and my weekday binge drinking is forcing me into a somber detox-demanding mood.  


I'm searching for a hobby outside of drinking and studying. Life as a med student is manic and it's essential to indulge in outside activities to keep oneself sane. balanced. mentally charged, (meanwhile periodically decompressed). Me. Well, I'm still trying to access that. I don't have my piano or guitar. but I do download The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on iTunes which really helps keep things light. Sometimes Giulio and I play chess too, but it took me about 30 games to finally beat him and I've refused to play since experiencing that sweet taste of victory. I suppose I have also been feeling the runners itch lately, but I'm not sure whether this is a matter of hygiene or in fact my curiosity to know whether I could outruna Triceratops should the occasion every arise. The Milan marathon is in April; I've been flirting with the idea, but my knee still hurts from that one year I ran four marathons with a training regimen that consisted of driving my car to work.


i digress.


My big news and big thanks is that based on my previous coursework, I was able to skip the first year of medical school. This is really huge because it saved my sugar-mother on the order of like, $25,000 and more importantly, put me one year closer to an early retirement. I freak out a little each day that I spend a shamefully hedonistic amount of time fantasizing about going skiing, wearing ugly sweaters, and drinking eggnog. I also think a lot about how I would really love to be a writer or a teacher. This past year I've noticed an immense shift in my attitude toward "success"- either my priorities are changing, or my definition of success is changing (see- becoming a professional eggnog drinker). It's strange. I don't care so much about perfect grades. I care more about things like gardening. I miss my family and my dearest friends. No, I actually crave them. I wonder sometimes if I'm really cut out for this med student business. Sometimes I sense myself as a phony. But at this point, I'm going to keep faking it until I make it. 

my biggest thanks to you, who i love
(dreaming of ugly sweaters and eggnog...)

The Smoking Goat

After a five-month hiatus from work and school and generally all things intellectual, I have finally matriculated into medical school. I had a mini panic attack the first week when I realized 1.) that I didn’t even know what year it was, and 2.) that I had forgotten how to write with a pen; but by week three I had sufficiently brushed the cobwebs off my synapses and by week four was already contemplating that I could be verging burnout.  Although I haven't yet found medical school too insulting to my inaccurate self-perceptions of being super smart, the amount of information needed to be learned IS dense and immense. Anyway, while I am at most times remarkably good at complaining, on this occasion I really can’t say much but good things about my colleagues, professors, and program as a whole. It's been a while that I liked so many people in one place, and while I won’t traverse so far as to say that I’m happy, I am presently abstaining from prescription anti-depressants.

Instead of complaining, I decided to relay five randomly-chosen observations taken from the past month.

1. Tardiness: Ok, basically, there like, isn't such a thing. If my lesson for instance, is slotted to commence at 9am, I have learned that this actually means any time after 9:15. There is even an official “academic grace period” whose decree it is to officialize that fifteen minutes late isn’t actually late.  This fact also applies to the coffee breaks we predictably receive every 45-50 minutes- a "five" minute break is on the order of ten to fifteen minutes, while a "ten" minute break on the order of 15-35, and so on. Admittedly, my learning benefits tremendously from these brief pauses in information upload.

2. Burn & Sediment: During aforementioned breaks, one typically frequents an on-campus café for a barista-made potation, OR indulges in the (very delicious/awesome/fantastic) cappuccino vending machine. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I am absolutely fucking fascinated by this thing.  Even after one month of indulging twice daily in said technological miracle, I still find myself crouched down to the ground, attempting to peer into the machine's insides as if I were a pervert underneath the bleachers at a high school football game. Anyway, #16 is my favorite- cappuccino con cacao. 

3. Lunch Breaks: Ok this is crazy but, PEOPLE ACTUALLY TAKE THEM! And if somebody notices you working through your lunch break while mindlessly munching your panini, well, my friend, I'm sorry to say that you have just committed social suicide.  

4. Physical Well Being: Health professionals (easily spotted by their white coats and rubber shoes) shamelessly stand outside the hospital inhaling their cancer sticks and exhaling the smoke into the atmosphere of the very patients they just advised to quit. oops.

5. Emotional Well Being: According to a rumor I heard, the on-campus ZOO was installed as a way to catalyze tranquility for (non-smoking?) patients. There are monkeys, goats, parrots, lambs and copious other creatures that call the concrete jungle immediately outside my classroom, "home".  They screech and sing most of the day, everyday. Sometimes they are so loud that when I play back my recorded notes, the only thing audible is the animal (as was the reason the lecture was unintelligible in the first place.)

But anyway, this is medical school in Italy, and I love it.

The New Digs

When I transplanted life as I knew it to Italy, I moved into the apartment Giulio has called home for the past six years. Though its great potential struck me immediately (supreme location, high ceilings, big rooms, lots of light), according to my research, the apartment had not been cleaned since the cradle of civilization. And by "not been cleaned" I mean that the photos released of Osama Bin Laden's postmortem bedroom looked strikingly similar to ours. So, I unleashed my tyrannical OCD mania on Giulio and after a period of hysterical crying, trashing, cleaning, and shopping, we finally arrived at an aesthetic state worthy of hosting many a dinner party. Presently, there's even a loaf of homemade rosemary olive bread in the oven. 

living room before

living room after

our bedroom before

our bedroom after

   

La Dolce Visa

I fell in love and moved to Italy. Glamorous? YES.
Always unicorns and rainbows? Definitely not.

This piece details the process you must undergo to obtain a study visa in Italy. I have purposefully left out the manic episodes I suffered doing things the wrong way, and opted to focus on how YOU should do it should you find yourself at the beginning of this onerous journey. Gather as much information from blogs or any other resource you can. Talk to people who have already gone through the process if you can. And keep in mind that every Italian Consulate has it's own unique set of required documents, deadlines, etc, and so you must take responsibility to get in touch with the consulate of your jurisdiction to find out precisely what is expected of you. The experience herein reflects my escapade with the San Francisco Consulate.

Before you can apply for a study visa, you need to have a legalized translation of your degrees. This is called a Dichiarazione di Valore and as I discovered, it is a separate process from the visa. Do not email the visa office asking questions about the dichiarzione di valore, (you idiot). Instead, email the consulate's "legal department" and request a PDF of their requirements for obtaining the DV. 

The first thing I did was obtain an apostille for my high school and college diplomas and transcripts. To do this, you must contact your secretary of state in the state that issued the diploma to determine their exact requirements. For me it meant a California apostille for high school as well as a Washington apostille for university. These states differed slightly. For Washington I had to include the following:

• original sealed transcript from my University and original diploma as is (neither notarized)
• a check for $15 per document ($30 total) made payable to the secretary of state
• a cover letter including the name of the school and country requesting the documents, my contact information, and information on where the documents should be mailed after they are apostilled
• a pre-paid Fed Ex air bill so they could return the documents to me.  

For California, I had to get a notarized COPY of my high school diploma and a notarized official transcript. Furthermore, the consulate required a notary public to witness the REGISTRAR's signature on both the (opened) official transcript and the diploma (which means your school either needs to have a notary public on site, or you need to call a traveling notary public to come to the school). Written on the official high school transcript, it must say:

" I __________________, Registrar, certify that these are official high school transcripts from ______________ school/university."
On the COPY of the diploma it must say:
"I __________________, Registrar, certify that this is a copy of        (your name)    _ diploma from _______________ school/university."

Below each sworn statement the registrar must sign his name in the presence of the notary and a Jurat form must be stapled to each document separately. After this, you can send the notarized documents to the secretary of state's notary department. Include a cover letter (with the same information required for the WA letter above), a check in the amount of $20 per document, and a FedEx prepaid return envelope/air bill for them to return your documents.

The apostille should take roughly two weeks to arrive back in your hands.

While you're waiting for your apostilles to return, you must complete a typed translation of all your coursework. In my case, this meant a translation of (only) my university transcripts, formatted in the precise way as the original transcript, and a translation of both my high school and college diplomas. The translation needs to be accurate but it does not need to be done by a professional, nor notarized. And please make sure the translation is in Italian, (you idiot). 

Once your apostilles return and your translations have been completed, you are ready to apply for your dichiarazione di valore. Send the apostilled packets exactly as they were received (with the fucking staple right through your college diploma) along with the translation of your diplomas/transcripts. I was also asked to include a cover letter, two 2x2 passport photos, three additional official university transcripts, a completed "Domanda di Preiscrizione" (FORM A, which I found and printed from the Consulate website) and a prepaid return airbill (through USPS because according to the consulate, the other couriers are unreliable). Keep in mind that some consulates may only accept applications for DV's for schools within their jurisdiction. This means that if you went to a high school and college in different states, you may have to send them to different consulates (and it sucks to be you). CALL THEM if you're unsure. Once they're sent, wait 4-6 weeks, but keep in touch from time to time so they don't forget about you.

So now you have received your dichiarazione di valore. Breathe because you just completed the hardest part!  Now you're ready to apply for the visa. Keep in mind that you MUST do this in person. I had to fly back early and cut off five weeks of my travels in Europe just to show up at the bloody consulate in person. Also be aware of deadlines and their hours of operation for visas. Some consulates require appointments, some only take walk-ins. If your consulate does not require an appointment, prepare to get there one hour early so you can get to the front of the line. Either way, make sure you have everything ready- you only want to do this once, trust me. Bring the following with you:

1. Completed application form with a passport photo (2x2 inches) glued to the front. You can download this online.

2. Passport or official travel document (original and copy) valid for at least three months beyond the validity date of the visa requested. The passport must have a blank page available for the visa to be affixed.

3. Driver's License or State ID (original and copy) proving residence in that particular consular jurisdiction.

4. Alien Registration Card (original and copy) if you are a non-US citizen.

5. Letter of acceptance from the university, in Italian (original plus one copy). The letter (on official letterhead, signed and sealed by an official representative) must include the following:

• name of the student
• complete name and address of the school in Italy
• the exact period of study including day/month/year and weekly hours
• a statement that tuition, room and board, and health insurance will be covered, or that the university will help the student arrange these things

6. Affidavit of health insurance coverage (download from consulate website), signed and notarized

7. Proof of Funds. If you are self sufficient you must request a letter from your bank (on official letterhead, signed by a bank official) that states the exact balance of your account. You must be able to demonstrate that you have a minimum of $900.00/month for the extent of your visa (up to one year) in your account. If you are financially dependent, then you must provide an affidavit of support (downloadable form) signed by your sugar mama and notarized, as well as an original, signed letter from the bank stipulating the exact balance (and it must be recently dated).

8. Proof of adequate lodging for the entirety of your stay. This could be in the form of a lease or a signed and notarized letter from a family member with whom you will stay, or hotel reservation, etc. 

9. Proof of roundtrip flight reservations. (I only had to show my reservation for the way there, but some consulates may be different). 

Once you leave, your visa will arrive probably two days before your intended date of departure, making for a particularly sweaty week up until your departure. But you will get it and life will be GOOD!

Additional Information

I was not allowed to apply fewer than 30 days or more than 90 days prior to my departure to Italy.

You must go through the consulate office appropriate to your jurisdiction. Not every state has a visa office which means your consulate office sees residents not only of your state, but of your specific city/county. 

Be overly nice to any employee you interact with by phone, email, or in person. They are, as I have witnessed, understaffed so make sure they remember you by your kindness and not your inclination to act as an asshole. Keep in mind that although they are terribly inefficient, they DO have something that you need and that they can find any reason to deny you of this thing (or pull some strings in your favor).

Take advantage of emailing and calling and if you have someone who can speak on your behalf in Italian, it will make a difference on how fast you can get things done.

In boca al lupo!